Stigdamlun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, capable troll.

Stigdamlun created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigdamlun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stigdamlun, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stigdamlun's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Stigdamlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight foxes in one place.

2. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

3. Never feed bread to ants while wearing kilts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.