Stigapport is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic hyena.

Stigapport created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigapport, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigapport, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stigapport's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stigapport's Holy Commandments

1. Stigapport loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Always store aubergines above ground.

3. Do not name children after cats.

4. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

5. Fast once a month.