Gudmumvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered rat.

Gudmumvonk created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Gudmumvonk, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gudmumvonk, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gudmumvonk's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gudmumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Never hurt moths.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Always obey Gudmumvonk's priests.

5. Do not fashion tools from gold.