Parkgepjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty dove.

Parkgepjarn created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkgepjarn, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Parkgepjarn, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Parkgepjarn's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Parkgepjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near ants while wearing yellow dresses and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not commit murder.