Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful capybara.

Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to mites while wearing gray skirts.

2. Put Ingdubnad Gedlabnarl first in all things.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Never travel toward the east during winter.