Zodduncut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful duck.

Zodduncut created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodduncut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zodduncut, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zodduncut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zodduncut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never sit near whales.

4. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.