Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty meerkat.

Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bapmonvid Talbafpom Hugtappin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare wheat while wearing coats.

2. Do not run at mountains.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Always treat great tits with great respect.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.