Ortcutben is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent bat.

Ortcutben created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortcutben, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortcutben, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ortcutben's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ortcutben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at midday.

2. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.