Jonjabspag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, happy grasshopper.

Jonjabspag created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjabspag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonjabspag, it will be very unhappy.

Jonjabspag's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jonjabspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Hide from gray bats for they are unholy.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Always act with purity.