Hinbamhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a large, sapient dryad.

Hinbamhiv created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Hinbamhiv, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinbamhiv, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hinbamhiv's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hinbamhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing dresses.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.