Kempibhog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, weak tortoise.

Kempibhog created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kempibhog, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kempibhog, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Kempibhog's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kempibhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Pray only in darkness.