Stafmonfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome weasel.

Stafmonfarn created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmonfarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stafmonfarn, he will come to you in dreams.

Stafmonfarn's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Stafmonfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Stafmonfarn.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.