Nartingwikfub is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent octopus.

Nartingwikfub created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartingwikfub, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nartingwikfub, she will remove you from existence.

Nartingwikfub's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nartingwikfub's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Never hurt sheep.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Learn three new languages a year.