Sad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish giraffe.

Sad created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sad, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Sad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Sad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.