Gubcedsidcet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unjust unicorn.

Gubcedsidcet created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gubcedsidcet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubcedsidcet, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gubcedsidcet's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gubcedsidcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

2. Hide from orange grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat bark.