Donbegmum Poptargparktarp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful crocodile.

Donbegmum Poptargparktarp created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donbegmum Poptargparktarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Donbegmum Poptargparktarp, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Donbegmum Poptargparktarp's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Donbegmum Poptargparktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

5. Hide if nine seals approach from the west.