Zigpangbagnarlmip is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient crow.

Zigpangbagnarlmip created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigpangbagnarlmip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zigpangbagnarlmip, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zigpangbagnarlmip's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Zigpangbagnarlmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing yellow rings and balancing four lead spheres on your arms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.