Flappibzig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring human.

Flappibzig created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flappibzig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flappibzig, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flappibzig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flappibzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise corsets.

2. Never laugh near birds.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never go into brown rooms.