Vonpangkon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, proud beaver.

Vonpangkon created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonpangkon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonpangkon, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vonpangkon's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vonpangkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Always wash your legs before prayer.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonpangkon.

4. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Vonpangkon on top of important buildings.

5. Pray only in shadows.