Kadlibzak is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, strong porpoise.

Kadlibzak created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadlibzak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kadlibzak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Kadlibzak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kadlibzak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet ants for they are unholy.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to bats while wearing orange stockings.

4. Do not hop at forests.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.