Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, passionate fish.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Never feed nuts to shrews while wearing white ear rings.

3. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

4. Never remain kneeling at midday.

5. Never prepare lemons during summer.