Hivabbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, fast meerkat.

Hivabbin created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivabbin, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hivabbin, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hivabbin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Hivabbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always act with patience when addressing children.

3. Always help tapirs.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.