Dobsissan Rotbutzan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, resourceful naga.

Dobsissan Rotbutzan created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Dobsissan Rotbutzan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dobsissan Rotbutzan, she will turn you into a snail.

Dobsissan Rotbutzan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dobsissan Rotbutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never cross mountains at dawn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dobsissan Rotbutzan.