Bissjendun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless unicorn.

Bissjendun created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Bissjendun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bissjendun, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bissjendun's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bissjendun's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare peanuts during summer.

2. Never talk about gravity near snakes while wearing green kilts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bissjendun.

5. Never mention seals.