Arffar is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tranquil donkey.

Arffar created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arffar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arffar, he will turn you into a mole.

Arffar's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Arffar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Always help tapirs in need.

4. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.