Ponstanveen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited bee.

Ponstanveen created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ponstanveen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ponstanveen, he will remove you from existence.

Ponstanveen's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ponstanveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never point your hands toward the south during prayer.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

5. Do not prepare corn while wearing jumpers.