Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, emotional aardvark.

Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fotsasvanhongablopmeglim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shoes on sacred days.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Do not place apples upon stone.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with mites.