Parklakvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a large, effective rhinoceros.

Parklakvonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Parklakvonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Parklakvonk, she will turn you into a mouse.

Parklakvonk's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Parklakvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Never adorn your hands with violet markings.

3. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

4. Never feed limes to shrews while wearing kilts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.