Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient penguin.

Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk, it will remove you from existence.

Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dodfudcudpancipnak Ranzanbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Hide from indigo rats for they are unholy.

5. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.