Bumdaplun is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, duplicitous mole.

Bumdaplun created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumdaplun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bumdaplun, it will make you grow a tail.

Bumdaplun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bumdaplun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bumdaplun in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Always remove coats before touching titanium.