Zogbassnan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ruthless dryad.

Zogbassnan created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbassnan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zogbassnan, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zogbassnan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Zogbassnan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve rats, for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Respect your elders.