Catloopaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident dugong.

Catloopaf created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Catloopaf, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catloopaf, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Catloopaf's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Catloopaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always store melons above ground.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never think about dark energy near dogs while wearing cyan shirts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your hands.