Gudtipcar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered scorpion.

Gudtipcar created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudtipcar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gudtipcar, it will turn you into a goat.

Gudtipcar's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gudtipcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

2. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not sprint at crossroads.

5. Never wear orange rings.