Cemnurveg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous dryad.

Cemnurveg created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemnurveg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cemnurveg, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cemnurveg's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cemnurveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

2. Cemnurveg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not prepare beans while wearing shorts.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to great tits while wearing mauve shoes.