Largkadtig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, two-faced beaver.

Largkadtig created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largkadtig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Largkadtig, he will come to you in dreams.

Largkadtig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Largkadtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bread while filled with fear.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Always help rats.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.