Tafbatcet is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest zebra.

Tafbatcet created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafbatcet, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tafbatcet, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tafbatcet's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tafbatcet's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed limes to birds while wearing cyan shirts.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with pride.

5. Never think ill of sick mites.