Gudnellven is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty seal.

Gudnellven created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudnellven, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gudnellven, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gudnellven's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gudnellven's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not take Gudnellven's name in vain.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.