Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, clever hydra.

Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Monsawgan Kanbogcim Riphunhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Never sing in the presence of elders.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.