Lidcutrak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet bird.

Lidcutrak created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidcutrak, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lidcutrak, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lidcutrak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lidcutrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lidcutrak's name in vain.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never chant near gulls.