Kamhotran is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid newt.

Kamhotran created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamhotran, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kamhotran, he will destroy your home planet.

Kamhotran's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kamhotran's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing white hats and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.