Rotwitrip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing jackal.

Rotwitrip created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotwitrip, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rotwitrip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rotwitrip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Rotwitrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cucumbers to voles while wearing turquoise stockings.

2. Do not fashion tools from iron.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Always act with purity.