Quillortbet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless dolphin.

Quillortbet created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quillortbet, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillortbet, he will not invite you to parties.

Quillortbet's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quillortbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always store cherries above ground.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

3. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with otters.

4. Never talk about dark matter near sheep while wearing blue ear rings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quillortbet.