Rap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless crane.

Rap created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Rap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rap, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Rap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta goats for they are unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.