Kikfodyam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited dove.

Kikfodyam created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfodyam, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kikfodyam, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kikfodyam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kikfodyam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never gather eight horses near wells.