Botapphap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid frog.

Botapphap created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botapphap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Botapphap, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Botapphap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Botapphap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Put Botapphap first in all things.

4. Rats are not to be trusted.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.