Pagquafgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, idiotic jaguar.

Pagquafgeb created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagquafgeb, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagquafgeb, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pagquafgeb's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Pagquafgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Do not prepare lemons while filled with joy.

5. Never feed parsnips to frogs while wearing kilts.