Dapcutcit is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, conceited cow.

Dapcutcit created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapcutcit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dapcutcit, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dapcutcit's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dapcutcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from ash.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

3. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

4. Do not take Dapcutcit's name in vain.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapcutcit.