Hitstaflibhub is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, impressive mink.

Hitstaflibhub created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitstaflibhub, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitstaflibhub, she will turn you into a rat.

Hitstaflibhub's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hitstaflibhub's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your feet before prayer.

2. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

3. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing six gold spheres on your back.

4. Do not kill rats.

5. Always wear fawn.