Bopmildab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, emotional mink.

Bopmildab created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopmildab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bopmildab, he will turn you into a mole.

Bopmildab's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bopmildab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not skip at rivers.

3. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

4. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing skirts.

5. Never think about spacetime near snakes while wearing red hats and balancing five nickel spheres on your head.