Targbonkyak is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, omniscient goblin.

Targbonkyak created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Targbonkyak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Targbonkyak, she will destroy your favourite star.

Targbonkyak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Targbonkyak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.